I don’t know what to do. I have diagnosed anxiety and depression, as well as diagnosed anorexia. I have done outpatient treatment for the past 1.5 years. This is my first year at university but my parents are 25 min away. I really don’t want to do recovery anymore, I am just so tired of it. But my parents are paying for college and staying in recovery is the only way I can continue my education. I am not really progressing with recovery, just kind of floating by. Probably relapsing a bit. I just really don’t want to challenge myself anymore with recovery. whenever I do challenge myself end up hating myself and feeling miserable (to the point of cutting myself). What should I do? If my parents knew how much I am struggling they will put me in Inpatient and that means no more college and I will lose my scholarship. But I cannot continue like I am. All I do is isolate myself. I have absolutely zero friends. I am just so shy and anxious around people and my self-esteem is super low. What should I do? (From Missouri)
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with the transition into the university. Since you are new there I would highly recommend talking with the university counseling center as many of the things you are struggling with are conditions they are well trained to handle. This way you can get some additional input into your situation.
I’d discuss with the university counselors your thoughts about recovery and ask them if they have any suggestions for helping you deal with wanting to stay on scholarship as you find ways to cope that are different than what you are doing. Universities are typically used to dealing with helping students make the transition. At the very least it allows you to get another opinion with people who have experience.
Finally, I’d recommend you pick up a copy of the book U Thrive as it was specifically designed for students coming into college and what you can do to help feel better while you are there.
Wishing you patience and peace,