I’ve been dealing with this problem on and off for some years now and I’m finally in that “it’s hopeless” stage. I feel like I keep slipping in and out of crazy, I don’t even have panic attacks anymore but I always have this overwhelming since of anxiety and derealization. It makes me very uncomfortable, it messes with my thoughts and it makes it very hard to sleep. Every time I try to go to sleep I feel like I wake up half sleep and with anxiety causing me to think about strange things and kinda see lights. I’d have to try to sleep multiple times before I can get it. It makes me feel very depressed and emotionless, like I’m a zombie. And at times my derealization gets so bad I feel like I’m going crazy. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Im not even sure if this is still anxiety or is it become another problem.
Nowhere in your letter did you mention having been evaluated by a mental health professional. If you have yet to be evaluated, then your situation is far from hopeless. You might feel hopeless but those feelings are not consistent with reality. Very effective treatments exist for anxiety and depression and even derealization.
Of course what you’re going through, upsets you and greatly concerns you. Almost anyone, would feel the way you feel. However, this in no way suggests that you are beyond help or that your problem is not easily treatable.
In your correspondence with me you have not indicated whether or not you are presently in counseling or have ever been in counseling. Let’s look at that from both perspectives. If you have been in counseling but presently are not, then it is time to return to counseling with your past therapist or perhaps a new one.
If you have not been in counseling in the past, it is time for you to do so now. Counseling, with perhaps the addition of medication should bring you some immediate relief and in time produce a cure.
Losing sleep is in itself a problem. Without adequate sleep we become very emotional, things are amplified. Even though we can function with some loss of sleep, we don’t function well and we don’t feel “normal.” Part of the way you feel could be solely due to the lack of adequate sleep.
The most important advice that I can give you is to begin your treatment as soon as possible. Don’t wait for this to improve on its own. I wish you the best of luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle