So over a year ago I decided to “experiment” with a psychedelic substance. At the time I used it to help with depression and for some time it did, but I’ve developed now from something else, Anxiety. Since I got Generalised Anxiety Disorder I’ve been looking back at the time I “experimented” and I feel bad for it. Like I did something wrong. I even told my mother to help lift that burden and she forgave me, but I can’t forgive myself. I worry about it and I worry that my mom still thinks about it. But I doubt she does, I’m the one who can’t get it over it. I want to learn how to let go and forgive myself because it keeps gnawing at me. It haunts me and I know it’s a part of my anxiety. I want to learn how to conquer this, so I can start to move forward.
I’m sorry you are experiencing these symptoms. I recommend a three-prong approach for coping. First, I would do two things known to be helpful with anxiety. Initially, I would engage in an exercise or yoga program. Taking care of your body physically in this we can often help to reduce anxiety in general.
Secondly, I would experiment with meditation classes or apps such as Insight Timer or Headspace. These apps can help you develop some basic skills and meditation which will help with emotional self-regulation.
Finally, I would engage in the practice of self-compassion. Here are some good ones by Dr. Kristin Neff. This particular form or this can help you be more compassionate with yourself and let the internal process of forgiveness begin.
Wishing you patience and peace,