I’m 15 years old. When I was 13 I was in a bad accident where 30% of my body was burned with 3rd degree burns. Every since that day, I have thought about the accident. My mother is in debt because of me and my mistake. My mother would cry everyday while I’m the hospital and I would listen, feeling terrible. Once I got out of the hospital, I would cry myself to sleep and I had nightmares. I went to school and got ridiculed. I was the kid who “set himself on fire” or “crispy legs.” Let it be known I didn’t set myself on fire, it was an accident. Everyone mocked me and made fun of me. I was stared at and laughed at. Now I feel alone. I haven’t talked to anyone about this and all the feelings and depression I’ve built up over the years. Everyday, all throughout the day I think about my accident. It haunts me and I hate myself for getting burned and hurting my mother financially and emotionally. Recently my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her all of my thoughts and feelings. I would have killed myself if my mom didn’t tell me she was pregnant with my little brother, he seems to be the only reason I’m alive today. Now I just don’t see what the point of living is to be honest. Everyone is so hateful and no one cares about me. I don’t even care what happens to me. Words can’t describe how much I hate myself and how I’d give anything to take back what happened to me. I just don’t see what the point of living is anymore if it’s just gonna be filled with hate and stress. Death just seems so peaceful. I just want someone to care. No one understands what happened to me and the damage its done to me.
A: I’m so sorry that you have gone through such a difficult time, both physically and emotionally, but please don’t give up! I promise you that it will get better. You were at a difficult age when this happened and kids can be horribly mean and unsupportive of their peers. It may be difficult to believe now, but the older you get, the less this will matter. It sounds like this has been hard on both you and your mother, but like you said, it was an accident so please stop blaming yourself. I’m sure your mother is grateful everyday that you are still alive, and I hope that one day soon you will be too.
What you went through was traumatic and has affected your life greatly. That is why I think you should seek therapy to help you deal with it all. Talking to a professional who has training and experience in helping people through difficult life events will speed up your healing process and help you see hope in your future. Please talk to your mom soon (or your doctor or school counselor) about finding a therapist. You might benefit from a specific technique called EMDR and I’ve included the link so that you can find a trained therapist in your area. You’ve been through the worst of it already. Hang in there to see how wonderful life can be again.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts