Quick background…my husband’s sister is an alcoholic, who’s never been accountable for anything. Recently her children were taken from her by social services and my in-laws are taking care of them. We live within 2 miles of each other and I assisted in having my niece and nephew enrolled at my daughter’s daycare.
My in-laws stop in the room my daughter (2 years old) is in everyday, twice a day while they are dropping off/picking up my niece and nephew (4 years old). I think it is very disruptive for the classroom, and leaves my daughter to deal with me leaving her (which is sometimes upsetting to her) and then again when they leave her. My husband will not ask them to stop visiting her everyday. He said he is not telling them they can’t see her. I think it’s excessive and unfair to our daughter. I’m hurt my husband is ignoring my feelings on the issue. Should I just tell them myself? Should I push this issue with my husband? Should I let it go? (From the USA)
You did a good thing by trying to help out the children. Boundaries are something I would encourage you to talk with the daycare staff. Explain the circumstances and ask them to set boundaries on the visits. Many daycares have some guidelines for visitors to follow. You were helpful in getting the children placed there and talking to the director of the facility seems a very reasonable step in trying to resolve the situation. Your in-laws may be trying to compensate for their mother being absent and may not realize how disruptive they are being. My guess is this is a discussion the director can have with them.
Wishing you patience and peace,