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Deeper Meanings

I have a woman I love dearly and we operate on 100 percent honesty. We have an amazing relationship and the sex is amazing as well except for one little thing. Due to our open honesty I’d like to be able to tell her I enjoy anal stimulation but I’m not gay. My ex got me into it and I love it but I don’t know how to introduce it without her assuming I’m gay which I fear she already has her suspicions about. (From Canada)

If your relationship is an open and honest one — and your partner is as connected and committed to the relationship as you are — then letting each other know what you like sexually is important. Tell her what you’d like and give her feedback. Ask if there is anything she might want that she hasn’t requested. The give and take in a relationship is important and making it safe for each other is the key.

As you experiment with asking you may even want to talk about your vulnerability in making the request. Often with couples that have the kind of relationship you do this discussion draws them closer.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

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