When I was in middle school, I knew this kid named Josh. We didnt really ever talk, but I didn’t have anything against him. In fact, he was one of the only kids in class who didn’t bully me, but maybe it was because it wasn’t his type of thing. Anyway, about 4 years after I last saw him, I found out he died. That was about mid 2016. Today is July 2018 and sometimes I still stay up late at night saddened at the thought of him being dead. I feel silly to grieve someone i hardly knew and spoke maybe 3 words to the entire time I knew him. Sometimes I go through his old social media, and I see how normal of a kid he was. He made videos with friends, he wore silly costumes to get a laugh, and he was really loved by the people he surrounded himself with. I guess I’m mainly saddened that he was only 17 and he had a family that he left behind. I’ve cried so many times over this and I guess I just want to express what I’ve been feeling to someone and be told that this is a normal process.
It’s unusual to be so upset about the death of someone you hardly knew. It’s not the norm. It could be something about his death that is upsetting you. Perhaps it is triggering a fear about your mortality or dying young. Based upon so little information, I can only speculate. Certainly, there is more to the story.
This issue requires deeper investigation. I would encourage you to discuss it with a therapist. Right now, it’s a mystery but a therapist might uncover what underlies your unusual emotional response. You may only need a few sessions to correct this issue and it’s certainly worth the effort. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle