I think I have BPD and major depression. When I’m in a good mood I tend to eat a lot and when this happens I don’t feel bad a t the moment but when I’m done I feel gross and just too big. I start overthinking about how I will gain weight if I can’t control myself and make plans on how long I’ll fast to loose weight. That’s when I become very depressed. I really hate gaining weight and I’m can’t stop thinking about it. The thing is that every time I start fasting I can’t complete the goal that I set and it makes me hate myself even more. I’m very sensitive to failing at things due to school and I feel like a disappointment to my family especially my mom. She obviously get’s angry and disappointed with me because I don’t want to eat. Sometimes I also feel like the only reason I’m still alive is her. I’ve been depressed for more than 4 years (on and off).
Sorry this is so confusing t me and I can’t explain myself properly about this topic.
I’m waiting for my first therapy appointment now but I need to know how to manage this eating issue I have until I go (in a month).
Thank you in advance. (From Germany)
I am very glad you are going for therapy. My guess is that as the mood swings come under control so will your eating. What may be very helpful is to simultaneously work with a nutritionist to lean about the yo-yo fasting and eating cycle — and what strategies can be used to temper and manage it. Learning about healthy eating habits and lifestyle will be a good support for the psychotherapy.
Wishing you patience and peace,