From a young woman in Malta: Since May of last year I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts about suicide and self harm almost everyday. These thoughts cause me a great deal of distress and make me wonder whether I could be a risk to myself, especially since I work in a setting where I have access to a large variety of medicines. It seems that even if I’m not having the thoughts at a moment in time I will be worrying about them.
I find myself searching the internet incessantly for some answers. Sometimes I have thoughts about how what I am experiencing isn’t real and how I am a liar and that I am making it all up. I have exams soon but my ability to concentrate has taken a huge hit and I’m not studying effectively I have read on the internet that this could be indicative of OCD. What do you think? Does this seem like something which I should talk about with someone or am I just making a big deal out of nothing?
You are absolutely not making a big deal over nothing. I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a letter but I can tell you what you already know. This isn’t normal. it’s a terrible way to live. You deserve better.
You’ve tried to handle this yourself for almost a year. If you could have figured it out on your own, you would have done so already. You absolutely should make an appointment to talk to a mental health counselor in order to get the support and guidance you need.
I wish you well.