So basically my entire childhood has been deeply traumatic. Since I was 6, I lived with my abusive mother (my parents are divorced). I’ve been chronically depressed for as long as I can remember and I have been spiritually interactive as you could say. From age 7, I could see demons in my waking and sleeping hours (Not to mention I had two childhood friends witch happened to be very terrifying demons that have haunted me for basically my entire life). I have had countless interactions with demons and angels. I have attempted suicide 4 times now. Some of the time I sort of laps into a insane mood when I am alone (about once every week or two) witch is full of uncontrollable shaking, self harm, very sadistic and psychotic thinking patterns, uncontrollable crying, rage and basic psychotic disorder symptoms. I am constantly paranoid and I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, insomnia and compulsive self hate. Keep in mind that I am currently 13. I have received little to no help with my mental problems and have a horrible habit of shoving everything down and hiding what I really feel (therefore my emotions are excessively raw and can overwhelm me at the slightest probing from my mother or basically anyone). I 100% consider myself to be unstable, but I am not sure about insane. Do you think I have Schizophrenia or Psychoses? Thanks for your time!
It’s impossible to provide a diagnosis over the Internet. It would be best to be evaluated in-person, by a mental health professional. It could help you to determine and correct what might be wrong.
Psychosis among people your age is rare. It does happen, often in situations involving abuse or trauma. That might be the case for you or there may be other explanations for your symptoms. For instance, a recent research study found that 24 hours of sleep deprivation can mimic symptoms of psychosis among people without psychotic disorders. Continued sleep deprivation also impairs memory function, the inability to concentrate, and in severe cases, can cause hallucinations and delusions.
You’ve stated that you have a habit of withholding your symptoms from those around you. That is a bad habit that you should work to change. Be honest about your symptoms and ask for help. No one will know what’s wrong if you don’t tell them.
I would suggest asking a trusted and responsible adult to assist you in seeking mental health treatment. Your parents might be able to help. Another option is the school guidance counselor. The guidance counselor can speak to your parents about your seeking treatment. Do whatever is necessary to seek help. Keeping secrets only prolongs your suffering. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle