I don’t eat more than 700-900 hundred calories maybe less. I have days where I will eat just over 1,000 like once every two weeks but hate my self. I always worry about my weight and is terrified of gaining any weight, I lost 10pounds in a few months, I weighted 109pounds and went to 99 now I’m scared to go to higher than 7 stone 5. I do eat but many days I starve and eat two meals or very little as I can, I do exercise to try losing it. I hate my self and count calories in everything I eat, I’m so sad with my weight I wish I could just eat but my mind and body stop me. I’m 16 and my height is 5 foot 2. Please help me understand, I’m to scared to tell anyone how I feel. Part of me sometimes wants to eat but another part which is way stronger stops me from eating, I don’t no if it’s a voice or me saying but thoughts like your fat, you will gain weight do exercise if I don’t it’s there for ages thinking about it until I do that is now and then, if I eat something I am feel guilty and think I’ll be fat the thought of food in me makes me feel like ill put on weigh. I don’t want to go to the doctors unless I know 100% I have it. (From Wales)
Of course it is improper for me to try and diagnose you without knowing you, but I can say this: If I were taking a test in graduate school, and I needed to offer an opinion, the descriptions you’re explaining suggest that eating is depleting a great deal of your energy. Too much so, and I would highly recommend talking to a physician. The intensity and range of thoughts you have about food, your weight, the exercising, and self-esteem issues are more intense than reasonable for someone your age. The physician can tell you if there is a medical or psychological reason for your symptoms. In either case, I wouldn’t wait. After a while such a diet can throw off some of your normal bodily functions. You’ll want to deal with this sooner rather than later.
Wishing you patience and peace,