I was diagnosed with OCD when I was very young maybe 12 or 13. I have had an on again off again relationship with Meds I mostly have intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I am currently back on meds but recently I have been going through a very hard time after moving to a new state and experiencing a few traumatic life events. I was abused regularly by my father and he eventually committed suicide. I am definitely a hypochondriac. I have had severe problems with impulse control particularly with Substance abuse and Money. I tend to ruminate a lot. I have always had a desire to fit in even If I had to lie to do it. I learned to lie to avoid abuse when young. I’ve had one serious relationship in my life that ended after my father died for a number of reasons. When I get depressed or OCD like thoughts I don’t like being alone. My family has been as supportive as they can be, but recently after Google, self-diagnosing I think I might have BPD. But of course with OCD I always think I have some illness I thought I was schizophrenic for a time. But I do do the following: Worry a lot, become concerned that people don’t like me or are talking about me even though I know its irrational and makes no sense all of this worsened after my recent move. But anyway, after googling BPD I definitely am impulsive, am a substance abuser and when I love I love very intensely. When my last girlfriend broke up with me I fought hard to keep her, I tried everything. Recently after starting on Meds again (like a week ago) and quitting my drug of choice Marijuana I have been prone to some mood swings and irritability. I took the quiz online for BPD and it said it was likely. What is your professional opinion? I tend to idealize people especially people that remind me of my father. I don’t devalue them without reason but I do if they have consistently shown themselves to be taking advantage of me. I have some paranoia and fear and GAD but based upon what I’ve described with a high propensity for impulsivity of special note with substance and Money, does your team think I have BPD or is it just my OCD?
I appreciate how difficult it can be to cope with these symptoms — and it sounds like you’ve been dealing with them for a while. While I read that you have various medicines, I haven’t heard you talk about any psychotherapy. I would highly recommend this because a diagnosis is only important if it helps treatment. You have a very clear understanding of what your symptoms are. I think it would be good to talk to a therapist about methods and interventions you can use not only to deal with the symptoms — but to also amplify your strengths.
Wishing you patience and peace,