adhd, adjustment disorder: Ive been stuggling with a few issues recently and I dont know whether or not to go to a therapist.
Im worried about potential adjustment disorder and inattentive adhd.
I just cant deal with change.When I first started university I was having a good time but when I got home I was miserable and didnt want to go back .Id just burst into tears at the thought of having new friends because I just wanted my old ones. Eventually I settled in. A weirder example is when I got a second cat, I kept trying to convince my parents to give her away because I liked the dynamic of having one cat,it meant no favourites and the thought of things changing made me cry just thinking about it. This anxiety if change has always followed me. When i was younger Id have frequent dreams of finding out my mam was pregnant and Id wake up crying. Now this feeling has returned because my parents want to move and I just cant cope with the idea. I love my house, its ours and the thought of someone else living here and making it their home just makes me burst into tears.Another recent example was I had my first brief relationship which I ended just before we got together because I just couldn’t deal with it. He asked me out and I cried the whole walk home after saying yes,I did the same thing(crying)after he kissed me in the car ride home with my dad. My parents keep telling me to stop getting so worked up about silly things but I just cant help it.
Im also worried about having inattentive adhd because I procrastinate so badly. Im in university and I left an essay worth 60% until the day before. Its like I just cant help it.I sit down to start and its like my brain is full of clutter and I just cant focus. I also constantly misplace everything and forget what I was doing. Despite this lack of focus in academic work I can easily dedicate myself to my own projects to the point of hyperfocus. If I have any spare time I will take it even when I know it will effect my performance. Im not disruptive but I do talk excessively to and often have trouble not interrupting people when they’re talking.
I would not characterize these problems as being indicative of a mental illness, but rather life problems that are easily resolved with counseling. Generally speaking, these problems seem to be the result of immaturity, fear and lack of life experience. You seem to find your life as it is to be less frightening than it would be if it were to change. Yet change is the only way that life can get better. Fear of change, coupled with a lack of confidence in your ability to handle change, might be the root of these problems.
Procrastination is a common problem. It is the act of delaying something longer than you should. It is not a mental illness. It’s possible that you lack the skills and self-control for completing your work in a timely manner. These time management skills can be learned.
At the college level, professors have deadlines. When those deadlines are not met the result will be bad grades. Bad grades can hinder your ability to complete college and negatively affect your long-term career goals. To the outside world, a procrastinator is seen as irresponsible. You want to avoid being labeled as such.
You said that you do follow through on certain tasks but not on others, such as school assignments. That is probably because you feel confident about some tasks but lack the confidence to perform well on school tasks and thus you avoid doing things that you are unsure of. This might be another example of how low self-confidence, fear and avoidance are negatively impacting your life.
You have asked me about whether or not you should consult a therapist. Yes, you should. These are exactly the types of problems that a therapist would help you work on. There’s no good reason to continue to live with problems that are easily remedied. If you have a problem, get help from the people whose job it is to help people with problems.
If you’re willing to participate in treatment and to do the work necessary, you should expect a good outcome. Imagine all that you can accomplish in life, when these stumbling blocks are removed. With good counseling that’s a very reasonable expectation. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle