On behalf of a friend, I want to talk to you about what she told me. A 15 year old friend of mine who is straight. She made the point that even if a guy was attractive, it turns her off when she has to see his face, she feels as if it were better if she doesn’t have to see anyone’s face at all. A little background that I know, she had divorced parents and many siblings and cousins living with her under the same roof. She’s Hispanic and doesn’t have the best relationship with her father, considering him narcissistic. She’s also been home school for most of her life. I’m quite concerned about her and I want to know what this means. She also didn’t know if she was gay because she thought she had feelings for a girl but she claims that she is fully straight. I hope you can unravel this psychologically. (From Canada)
Thanks for your email. There are many possibilities, and there is no way to know what the reason is for sure. When someone has this reaction it may be cultural, psychological, sexual, or simply a lack of experience. The way to understand it is to find out when it doesn’t happen. When is it that she can look at someone’s face and feel okay—or even good. As an example, looking at someone in a movie, an older person, a baby, or a person’s photograph might be a very different thing for her. This can help narrow down if it is a fear of intimacy, sexuality, or other type of inhibition.