From Singapore: My GF (22 years old) and I had been together for 1 year plus and during this period, we broke out once before. Since 2-3 months back, I have this heavy feeling inside me when I think about us. Its like I felt that somewhere we are better off being single and I am puzzled as why does this happen. I used to find her beautiful, but now I started to feel otherwise why?
Here are some issues I faced with her, I felt like she required much of my attention. When she is upset at me, she would give me that cold attitude which is something I absolutely hate. We are unable to communicate about our issues openly, as she does not feel comfortable telling me. We had very different views and values which leads to our argument.
As time passed, I realised that I am constantly “in fear” of provoking her. For example, even a simple text would made me feels like I must text her or else she would get upset and I have to face that cold treatment. She is possessive so I felt a restriction in interacting with females outside or even talking about it.
We had a rough start in our relationship, but it is way much better now. I can see that she loves me a lot and has changed over the time. I felt bad that I am having this issue now and I do not dare to approach her about it (we have poor communication in talking about issues). Of course, I also do feel the love towards her, just that now is like a competition between loving her and getting that heavy feeling. I tried to shake it off, but after few months it is still here and it is really bugging me. I do appreciate any helps or input regarding this. Thank you!
Trust your feelings. Your relationship may be better, but you say you still don’t “dare” approach your girlfriend with your concerns. Honesty is the basis of a solid and committed relationship. Without honesty and the ability to work through issues, the relationship can’t last.
I think you should try to talk with your girlfriend about your feelings and your anxiety about talking to her. If she can hear you with compassion and work on developing better communication with you, maybe you can rebuild your relationship. If she is cold or dismissive about your concerns or if she continues to restrict your ability to have friends, then maybe this relationship just isn’t for you.
I wish you well.