From a teen in the U.S.: Not so sound edgy but I have episodes of hurting myself. I went even as far as to saying I wanted to rip my lip into thirds and peel off my skin. I never did any of these. I was hospitalized twice for suicidal ideation due to the death of my father and wanting to jump of the Golden Gate Bridge and lack of support from school and home. I’m currently not in therapy but I’ll get it soon in one week. I’m only fourteen and I have these. What do I do.
I’m so very glad you will be seeing a therapist soon. What you do is be as honest and upfront with your therapist as you can be. You already know your reaction to your father’s death was extreme. You know your impulses to self-harm are dangerous. So accept the help that can be helpful. With good support and helpful advice, you can take care of these issues now and have a happy and successful life.
I wish you well.