For years my husband has made a habit of randomly groping me, usually grabbing/rubbing my backside, when I am distracted – typically performing other tasks. I’ve asked him to stop repeatedly and explained why I don’t enjoy it. He claims he’s not groping but simply showing affection. In, the past year he has also started saying, ‘I know you hate it, but I like it’ as he gropes me. It’s reached a point, for me, where I have an aversion to his touch period. Am I overreacting by thinking that I feel like I’ve been sexually assaulted?
You are not overreacting and it is time to enforce your boundaries with him. I’d encourage the two of you to make an appointment with a couple therapist to have a third party in on this issue. This does several things. First, it elevates and amplifies your voice so your husband gets the message that this isn’t an issue he can dismiss. Secondly, this issue is likely tethered to larger pattern of concerns you can bring into the session.
This will give you an opportunity to amplify your voice and establishing your boundaries and using this as an opportunity to talk about the conflicts in your life. This is a serious issue and stance to take and getting in front of a therapist sooner rather than later is a good idea. The find help tab at the top of the page will help you locate someone in your area.
Wishing you patience and peace,