For one year I have been experiencing very intense emotions and sadly also had difficulties regulating concealing I am very scared of other people.I’ve always been a different girl. However recently my perception has changed, and I don’t see point of my life now I don’t care about people I am lonely I still scared of abandonment, however now I just go to school come to home I can’t be myself in the school I play the asocial, and despicable and isolated girl. I really hate this-but I do not have choices other than this. But am very bored living like this. I had a chronic feeling of emptiness it seems it will never go. I am very impulsive sometimes I found myself buying a very expensive dress. Now life seems very purposeless I was loving my teacher but now he is not my teacher anymore that’t why I closed myself to the other boys but I also closed myself to the girls. I really need to talk to someone but I fear that they will despise me what is my problem Why do I behaving like a fool? (From London)
You do have a choice. You made a good choice not to keep this pain to yourself by writing us here. If you didn’t have a choice, then you wouldn’t have reached out.
The part of you that feels the distress from these fears is helping you find some relief. THAT part of you knows you have a choice and is trying to find some help. You say you fear you will be despised if you reach out to talk to someone. But you’ve reached out here to us at LifeHelper, and what I have for you is tremendous admiration for your courage.
It is time to take the next step and talk to someone. You can talk to a counselor at school and he or she can help find you a therapist who can help sort this out with you.
Wishing you patience and peace,