My heart stopped feeling and my life has not been the same since then. I am an 18-year-old girl. Earlier this year I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with since I was 14. This break up came as a great shock and I went through a lot of pain. Two months later my godson of only 10 months dies. His death hit me hard because he is the first close family member I’ve lost to death. He was my pillar of strength and the reason that I kept going even though I was broken into pieces so when he left everything changed. My heart shut down and I became spiritually confused. I haven’t cried in 5 months now and I don’t remember the last time I felt something genuinely. I hate who I’ve become even though in a way it saved me from any pain. How do I become okay again? And if I do will the feelings for my ex still be there because I never really got over him? And what happens if I’m stuck like this forever? (From Namibia, South Africa)
I am sorry you are having to feel the depth of these profound losses. The best course of action is to find a group nearby that offers grief counseling. Grieving groups will offer support and a process for grieving, which you will be able to use for both the loss of your godson and your boyfriend. This type of grieving is layered and complex. A grieving group will give you a place to begin to sort it through and get you to to a place you can start to feel okay again.
Wishing you patience and peace,