From a teen in the U.S.: Sometimes I feel like the world isn’t real or I’m not real, kinda like a dream. Family says I stare at nothing a lot, and I talk to myself from time to time, even arguments. I’ve been told my personality flip flops. Like I’m me at one point, but then I suddenly change to another person. I’ve never been abused but was bullied a lot until I snapped and blacked out. Apparently I beat someone up during my black out.
Ever since then my mamma says I changed a lot like at one point I’m happy and being myself then I’m a totally different person she doesn’t recognize. I space out a lot and do stuff that I don’t remember doing. Half the stuff I have I don’t remember buying or receiving. I can’t remember when how and why I started smoking but I’ve been doing it for a while. Sometimes I don’t remember lighting a cigarette up. I forget what I do but people say I did it.
So far there’s three parts of me, me myself, a mean version of me, and an incredibly fun and outgoing me. Sometimes when I space out I have visions of doing things that I wouldn’t normally do but then I found out I did them. I did stuff and didn’t even now I did until like a week later when I’m told I did do it. I meet a lot of people that know me but I don’t recognize them. Frequently I hear people talking while I’m alone in a room. Please help me I’m really confused about this.
Thank you for writing. I’m sure this is very confusing and worrisome. You’ve described a complicated set of symptoms, much too complicated for me to respond to responsibly on the basis of a letter alone. The diagnosis might be DID but, depending on more details, there are several other possibilities as well.
I therefore strongly urge you to make an appointment with a mental health provider who can take the time to hear your entire story and who can ask questions that can help with accurate diagnosis. Once the two of you have determined what is wrong, he or she will be able to offer you some treatment recommendations.
I do think you need treatment. Not only are you having serious symptoms, but those symptoms are interfering with the important social and cognitive development that should be going on during your teen years.
Please ask your doctor or school counselor for recommendations of local therapists who specialize in adolescence. You deserve the help.
I wish you well.