Recently I cannot do things I used to do I don’t want to be social with my friends anymore and would rather stay on my own. Along with this, I can no longer have a conversation with my grandparents or dad because of social anxiety even though I could before. When in school now I will feel positive but I know somehow that I’m not and I then will go home afterward and completely change even though I don’t know why I just suddenly end up being really sad. I’ve heard of bi-polar but I don’t know if this is it or if it’s all just social anxiety.
I have been having these reoccurring dreams which either feature people I know as dead puppets along with me screaming about my own death at a black ghost wolf or they have me dying of a stroke in bed with nobody hearing me die. After either shouting about death or dying from a stoke in my dreams I wake up burning don’t feel scared. Are these normal or am I experiencing things that I shouldn’t because I honestly don’t know and really want to find out.
I have it in my head that time recently has been moving very fast for me and all choices made are permanent yet after thinking that I still would rather never make choices and I feel like I’m unable to control my life. For some reason I keep thinking that my life is able to be reversed easily which it isn’t but for some reason I still act like it is, because I know that I can’t do that whenever I’m asked about my plan for life I can’t actually think and the first thing I think of is jumping off a building to avoid ever having to.
I’m sorry if all this is just me overreacting at problems that don’t exist but I just want to find out either what they are or if they can be dealt with because at the moment I don’t really react to them and I don’t want these thoughts and dreams to become normal for me. (From England)
Thank you for writing us and expressing you concerns. It sounds like they have been very difficult to manage.
Yet I am aware that you have taken some direct control already by laying out the symptoms and issues in your email. For someone who says he doesn’t have control, you shown two important things already by writing this email. The first is that there is a very healthy part of you that knows these concerns aren’t how you’d like to feel. That part of you is looking to set things straight and for you to get better.
Secondly, you took the time to explain each of the symptoms concerning social isolation, social anxiety, mood shifts, bipolar concerns, recurring nightmares, and an existential dilemma concerning having control in your life. The you who is reporting all of these concerns is the very healthy part of you that is looking for some answers, that has control enough to reflect and make this report, and is willing to get some guidance.
The key to your question is in the last sentence that you “… don’t want these thoughts and dreams to become normal to me.” The ”me” you speak of is precious because it has been watching and noticing these things and is ready for some help in dealing with them. The next step is to find someone who can help. Since you are 16, I would talk to your parents about getting an appointment to talk to a therapist. You’ve taken a big step in dealing with these issues by writing us here — now it is time to work with someone one-on-one to help sort them through.
Wishing you patience and peace,