From a teen in the U.S.: Hey. I feel guilty. I thought I got over events that happened a while ago, but the problems have reemerged recently. I’ve been really sick for the past couple of months, but even as I get physically better, I still feel out of energy to accomplish anything mentally. Nothing interests me anymore like when I was younger.
I’m a COMPLETELY different person at school than in my mind. At school I’m full of energy and laughing with my friends, but when I’m alone I feel horrible. I have plenty of friends and I’ve never been bullied, but I can’t bring myself to tell anyone how I feel. Nobody else knows how I feel because I can’t put what I actually feel into words. I’m not scared that they would make fun of me, I just know that none of them could really help me. I’m sick of feeling this way and I want to change; I just don’t know how. Thanks for reading this.
You didn’t share what happened awhile ago or details about your illness. I can only guess that whatever happened in both circumstances was more difficult for you to manage than you think. When you are distracted (in a positive way) by school and friends, you can put your feelings aside. But when you are alone, those feelings come crowding in.
I think it would be helpful for you to talk to a professional at this point. As you said, if you knew how, you would have taken care of the situation by now. There is no shame in needing some advice when recovering from difficult events or an illness. A counselor will help you sort out what is going on and will give you recommendations for what you can do to get some relief.
I wish you well.