I’m 15 years old and just started cutting myself last night, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My biological father died the beginning of this month, and I just feel like crap. All my mom and step-dad do is yell at me, I have no friends and no one to talk to. I’m so far behind in my school work and I think about killing myself all the time. I’ve felt bad and had problems even before things started getting worse. I was actually diagnosed with bipolar when I was 10, but my mother took me out of therapy after the lady said I had bipolar. If I mention anything about the diagnosis she just says there is nothing wrong with me and that I’m fine. I go to an online schooling program so I never leave the house and spend most of my time in my room. I do start normal school next year though. Last night I just felt horrible and I just don’t know. I hate to admit it but I don’t really take care of myself either. It’s really hard for me to get out of bed and brush my teeth or take a shower. I don’t really do anything anymore. I don’t think I could be put in therapy. Even if my parents would allow me to go they wouldn’t be able to afford it. Everything just got worse after my dad died. We were not close so I didn’t think it would affect me when he died. He did drugs, cheated on my mom, he even threatened to kill us when I was a kid. I don’t think my mom really helped, she would tell us everything he would say. Doctors threatened to put me and my brother in foster care because of the condition we were living in. Now my mom has been married to this guy for 4 years and they fight all the time. We live in a trailer so I can always here when their fighting. My grades have dropped and I just don’t know. I feel like this is all over the place. What’s should I do?
I am so glad you chose to write us here and tell us what’s been going on. I’m sorry that you lost your dad. Profound losses in our lives can often throw us off. It sounds like your mom and stepdad have more on their own plate than they can handle. This means it is time for you to take care of your needs more directly. Just like you reached out here — I am going to encourage you to reach out directly and your community for help. Your city has a large and well organized woman center. Your parents aren’t giving you the help you need so it is time to ask these agencies directly. If you have begun cutting please do this sooner rather than later. The center has low or no cost therapy that you should be able to use.
In the meantime please use our forums here at LifeHelper to talk with others about what you are going through.
Wishing you patience and peace,