From the U.S.: I’m 21. I have failed to retain any meaningful friendships during the whole course of my life. I have sometimes felt as if I am rarely around people that share my interests or I can get along with. I don’t have trouble making friends or getting along with people. When I meet someone that I feel is very genuine and easygoing I often feel very close to that person right away, but later the friendship fades and then I feel as if the closeness I thought I had with the person is an illusion. I have no people in my area that I spend time with regularly, and am not only extremely lonely, but have no sense of personal direction or interests that have any meaning to me. I am an attractive young woman, but can’t interest a man in a relationship, not even a boyfriend that is undesirable to me. I am so bored and disillusioned with everything at this point in my life that I don’t even feel like a real person. This has been a pattern that has been building since childhood.Is it possible I could live a normal life if I got psychotherapy?
At 21, you should be embracing life with enthusiasm and passion for all its possibilities, not sinking into boredom and disillusionment. The fact that you are asking questions is a positive indication that you are ready to start making some changes. You know that there is more to life than this.
Absolutely, therapy can help. Sometimes understanding ourselves is as impossible as looking at our own face without a mirror. We need someone outside of ourselves to see clearly what’s going on and what might be helpful. Ask your doctor for names of local therapists. Do your homework. Take a look at their websites and ask around about their reputations. Then make an appointment. Trust yourself. You may need to make a few initial appointments before you find a therapist who feels right for you. You need to find someone you feel you can trust.
You made a very important first step in acknowledging the problem and writing to us here at LifeHelper. I hope you will follow through and find a therapist for yourself. You deserve it.
I wish you well.