From the U.S.: I’ve recently come across a problem with someone I am close with. This person seems to be borderline “addicted” (not sure if that’s the right word) to hearing someone say they care about them in a really unhealthy way. I’m not sure of specific examples but it has been described as “think about the worst thing you could possibly do, and imagine telling someone you’d do that for them because you care about them that much.” I can go into more background details but I am posting because it has almost ruined this person’s life because they know it’s unhealthy and won’t let someone else say those things because it ruins the other person. But that’s ultimately what they want and can’t be with someone and care about them or the need for these things to be said becomes too real. Anyone have any experience with this or know what it is?
It sounds like your friend is very, very insecure and needs dramatic reassurance to feel okay in a relationship. Unfortunately, the way she tries to get that reassurance has the opposite effect. It pushes other people away. I suggest that your friend seek out a therapist to get to the root of her insecurities. Until she does, she is going to have difficulty relaxing into a trusting relationship of any kind.
I wish you well.