Recently I feel like I have been acting odd and people are starting to notice. I randomly zone out and have visual hallucinations like tall silhouettes and people following me. There’s also a voice in my head that will whisper to me during the day, but becomes extremely more vocal at night. Sometimes they’ll tell me to do odd things like hide under a desk or confess my undying love or hate to a stranger. Sometimes it’s worse, they just whisper my name over and over, sometimes tell me to kill or hurt people that I wouldn’t want to. They also seem to control my thoughts and feelings, because sometimes they say I need help and I believe them. Other times they say I don’t and I believe them. They generally control how I feel about people. I’m also convinced that other people can read my thoughts, maybe not everyone, but definitely most people. Nobody else believes me and I really do want an answer. Thank you very much.
You mentioned that people are starting to notice your behavior but you did not say how you knew this. It’s possible that you are wrong about what other people think about you. Unless they explicitly expressed their feelings to you directly, then it is difficult to know what they believe.
I would agree that your symptoms are concerning. They are consistent with psychotic disorders, but without being able to interview you in person, I cannot know your diagnosis.
I would strongly encourage you to speak your parents about your symptoms and ask for their assistance in consulting a mental health professional. Psychotic disorders, if that’s what you have, need prompt treatment. Some communities have first-episode psychosis clinics. These clinics are often housed in university research centers. If a psychotic disorder is present, you might consider one of these clinics if one is available in your community.
In the meantime, document your symptoms. The more detailed information you can provide during your evaluation, the easier it will to determine the best treatment. Medication might help to reduce or eliminate your symptoms. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle