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Life Doesn’t Seem Worth Living

Hi, I’m only 15 years old, and I just want to give up. Every day I force myself to mask my emotions and act fun. All I want to do is just disappear. Criticism kills me inside yet I act like I dont give a crap. Recently, I was suspended for losing my cool and punching a guy in the face because of a bunch of issues that caused him to talk behind my back and smack talk me. I had enough. I continually lose friends, people talk behind my back, my grades are suffering, my family is driving me nuts and making my life hell, my dad is in prison, I was beat for 8 years and witnessed unspeakable things. I’ve done 5 years of therapy but nothing changed. I take anti depressants and they dont cut it. My ex girlfriend whom I dated for 3 years cheated on me and ripped my heart out, and I cant keep going on this way.. I need advice. I have been considering suicide, just so the pain inside ends.

You are obviously in a lot of pain. That is clear. It is important to know that there will be many times when life is difficult but the problems that you are experiencing will be solved and your life will return to happiness. Most problems can be remedied.

Throughout the course of everyone’s life, there are many ups and downs. There will be good periods and there will be bad periods. It is that way for everyone: rich or poor, celebrity or non-celebrity, young or old, etc.

To handle the inevitable stresses of life, one needs to possess coping skills. The fact that you are considering suicide as a way to deal with your pain likely means that you do not possess these necessary coping skills. However, you can develop them.

Your emotional pain may be preventing you from believing that there is hope and that things can change. Your life can become better. Realize that you might not be thinking clearly due to your emotional pain.

Try to see what can be learned from individuals who have attempted suicide and who have survived and who are thankful to have survived. Below, I have included a true story of such a survivor.

AJ was 13 years old when he began having problems. He had been misbehaving. He robbed a gas station. His mother married a man with whom he did not get along. AJ drank to cope with his emotional pain.

At the age of 16, his stepfather kicked him out of the house. He then went to live with a friend. While at the friend’s home, he took a gun from their gun cabinet and went outside and shot himself in the face. He shot off most of his face. He is barely recognizable.

At the time that he attempted suicide, he could see no point in living. He survived and he is now blind. Despite being blind, he’s thankful to have survived.

One might think that AJ would have later tried to end his life but he did not. He is glad to have survived.

AJ begs people to reconsider suicide. He realized that life can improve even when it feels like it can’t. AJ has this advice for those considering suicide:

“If we just step back and strive towards tomorrow, it will get better…And the day after that will be better than the day before. So never give up. You don’t know how many people you’re going to hurt by leaving them behind.”

Tell your parents how you have been feeling. Let them know that you are struggling and that you need help. Insist that they take you to see a mental health professional. It is also important that you reveal your thoughts of suicide. If you can’t tell your parents then tell someone at your school. This could include the school guidance counselor, the principal, a teacher or anyone whom you trust. If you feel that might harm yourself, please call 911 or go to the emergency room immediately.

I have years of experience dealing with people who are experiencing the problems and pain that you feel now. If you had my years of experience, you would know that these problems will work out and the pain will be replaced with happiness. It isn’t fair to expect someone with only 15 years on this earth to know that these problems are common and very solvable. Counseling will help tremendously. No matter what, suicide is a terrible mistake. I know that is true. With the passing years, you will also know it is true.

Please take my advice and write back to let me know how you are doing.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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