I have been beginning to notice that i hear a voice inside of my head, he tells me what to do or he’ll make bad things happen and yesterday for the first time he insulted me. I also have paranoid delusions that people are sometimes poisoning my water, or watching me, or out to get me, or laughing at me, trying to make my life hell, trying to make everything bad for me because they all secretly are working together to humiliate me because no one actually likes me. Or if people are close i believe they can read my thoughts which makes me try to stop thinking, because of some of these things i really don’t trust anyone not even my folks. I also keep having mood swings or periods of time where i don’t feel anything, or have moment where I feel sad but could burst out in to laughter really inappropriately. My social anxiety is worse than ever but i dont have general anxiety any more instead i just have paranoia. I want to see a doctor for this as i feel it may be paranoid schizophrenia, yet im too worried that the doctors will try to hurt or humiliate me. Also having a bit of a hard time talking i keep using the wrong words, forgetting what i was saying and stammering.
I’m sorry to hear about what you’re experiencing. There’s no reason to be frightened of seeing a doctor. They are healthcare providers whose job is to help people get better. They won’t hurt you.
Even if you are frightened, you should make an appointment as soon as possible. The doctor will meet with you and want to know what you are experiencing. Provide him or her the information that you have included in this letter. If it’s easier, bring this letter with you to the appointment. It seems to be a good summary of your concerns.
Once the doctor better understands your symptoms, he or she will prescribe a treatment. That may include counseling and medication. Medication has been shown to significantly reduce paranoia and related symptoms. You would feel a great deal of relief if you were no longer paranoid and believed that people were trying to hurt you.
I hope that you will reconsider seeking professional help. Remember, doctor’s won’t hurt you. They can only help. They can make it so you are no longer experiencing these frightening symptoms and can help you to resume your life. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle