I was wondering if i might have a mental disorder. people have described me as being cold hearted, and socially retard. I dont have friends and i havent had one for years, I have a group of friends when i was in elementary school, and then when i went to middle school that group shrank and then in high school i had no friends just a couple of people i just talked to, I get anxious when im in public ( walking fast), I always get paranoid when people just start laughing or giggling around me, i think that they are talking about me. Iv thought of suicide before and tried it once but couldnt go through with it that was a few years ago i still think about suicide on a weekly basis’s it seems. I used to be really quite around people and kind of forced my self out of my shell but it seems that i still cant form any form of meaningful connection with anyone, when ever i talk with someone i have trouble collecting my thoughts and at times people have trouble seeing my logic, when ever i talk with someone i always lose get bored and lose interest with the person, and what bothers me is not the fact that i dont have friends but that i cant seem to “fit” in. I went to college for a year but droped out, i was bored and uninterested, then i joined the military, i dont hate my job but i also dont enjoy it, i feel as if i should be doing something greater with my life i want to do something with my life, that very few people can say they have done. The only time i feel happy is when I’m in the ring fighting someone. Theres a lot more i could write but the question is might there be something mentally wrong with me or am i just being paranoid?
Diagnosis over the Internet is difficult. I cannot say with certainty whether or not you have a particular diagnosis but there are several symptoms that would be indicative of a problem, including: anxiety, believing that others are talking about you, difficulty making a connection with others, and suicidal thinking. Those may be symptoms of a specific mental health diagnosis including, though not limited to, depression, anxiety disorder, or personality disorder.
Another possibility exists. You may not have a diagnosable mental health disorder but rather are feeling an overall dissatisfaction with your life. You feel that you “should be doing something greater” with your life. That statement supports the assertion that you are experiencing a general dissatisfaction with your life. At some level, you may feel that you are capable of more than you currently have achieved.
My recommendation is to have a psychological evaluation. An evaluation would be advantageous for several reasons. One reason is that the clinician can gather many more details about your life and history and make an objective determination regarding a mental health diagnosis. Secondly, he or she could provide a referral to the appropriate treatment provider, if necessary. Finally, the clinician can answer any specific questions that you have regarding your symptoms. The find help tab, the top of this page, can help you to locate a mental health professional in your community. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle