I have been having issues with trust, jealousy, suspicion, depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I am a 28 year old female. I have seen many counselors but have yet to be diagnosed with anything. I was sexually abused by family members growing up, which has led me to be very preoccupied with sexuality. I feel euphoric happiness when I am wanted sexually, or when I am engaged in sex. I always need reassurance that I am attractive. I enjoy attention from others…However, when my husband even looks in the direction of another woman I become extremely angry. Like a switch was flipped and my entire demeanor changes. I feel like I cannot control this reaction anymore. I am on my second marriage (my first husband lied, cheated, raped me and verbally abused me). I am extremely insecure. I always suspect my current husband is keeping something from me. I accuse him all the time and he has no patience for it anymore. I feel unable to trust, unable to feel happiness, unable to function normally. I often have thoughts of suicide. I attempted suicide once and was in the hospital for 2 days. At night I cannot sleep alone as I am terrified and have panic attacks. I had to take zopiclone for 2 years every night in order to sleep. I do not know what to do, or where to turn. I do not have a support system and I know that my actions and thoughts are not normal. Please help….
I am sorry that your therapy has not been more helpful. Rather than guess at the factors that are causing the symptoms you may want to get some more information. Whenever I have clients who are not making progress—or for whom there is no clear diagnosis–I encourage them to do some testing so we can get another opinion. I believe this may be helpful for you and encourage you to go for some testing by a clinical psychologist. Someone who can administer a battery of tests will give you some insight and help you with your therapy. A good evaluation like this will give you some understanding of the dynamics that you bring into relationships, and can provide a roadmap for your therapeutic growth.
Wishing you patience and peace,