I was in a relationship for two years throughout high school. It was my first “real” relationship and I fell in love with him. I thought we were going to try to make it work through college even though it would be hard because we loved each other so much. However, he randomly broke up with me before the summer even started. He wouldn’t tell me why or what had gone so wrong. Naturally, I was absolutely devastated. He just dropped out of my life completely.
Now, it’s a year later and he’s still on my mind. I keep thinking that I will never find anyone as good as him. I miss him more than anything in the world and just can’t seem to move on. I feel so stupid because it was just a high school relationship and shouldn’t have meant as much as it did to me. I probably made it out to be more than it was. However, I keep having dreams about him. It hurts everyday. I need to get over this. I need to move on. I can’t see myself dating or loving anyone but him. Please help me.
Some people never fully “get over” their first real love. Many people will always remember their first real love interest and some people say they will always love that person. It doesn’t, however, prevent them from going on to have successful, happy and better relationships with other people. They do and you will also likely do the same.
With breakups, there’s almost always one person who doesn’t want the relationship to end. Rarely is it the case that breakups are mutual. Usually, someone is hurt. In this case, it is you. Most people can relate because they too have been on the receiving end of a breakup.
The purpose of dating is to find someone with whom you are compatible. In the majority of cases, the people you date will not be a match. They will be rejected for one reason or another. That is okay because that is the purpose of dating.
As you continue through life, you will date other people. This particular breakup is probably more difficult because you were heavily invested in the relationship and you have yet to meet someone else. Once you meet new people, your feelings for your ex will likely dissipate. Maybe not entirely, but a great deal. Eventually your first love will be all but forgotten.
Consider counseling. In my opinion, there is no better way to ease the pain of a breakup. Relationship issues are one of the main reasons why people enter counseling. It is the ideal place to address these issues. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle