My mom and I have had issues for four years. They keep getting worse no matter what I try to do. She makes me feel worthless and yells at me over every simple mistake I make. She tells me I’m not going to have a future/ I won’t do anything with my life on a day to day basis. She makes me feel so bad about myself that I want to die and I feel unwanted. Because of this and other problems I self harm a lot and I sometimes have suicidal thoughts although I don’t think It would come to that. I tried to run away from home last year because it got so bad and it only made it worse. I also have tried not talking to my mom but she always finds something to yell at me for. She hasn’t spoken to me like a real person in a long time because she always yells. She’s told me that she hates me and loves my brother and sister more than me and tells me how much of a disappointment I am. I want to get help to make me feel better and stop her from saying these things to me but I don’t want her to know she is why I want help. I also am too afraid to talk to any counselors at school or my friends about it because I think they won’t believe me and will think I’m being a moody teenager. I’m scared to ask for help from anyone I know because they would think of me different and judge me. Please tell me what I should do about this.
You should speak to the school counselor about this issue. You have nothing to fear. Counselors don’t judge people. It is their job to help people. They spend years rigorously training to help people who are having problems just like yours. They can help you if you ask.
You are concerned that the counselors will see you as simply a “moody teenager.” You seem to be worried that you will not be taken seriously. I don’t think that will happen. Moody teenagers don’t engage in self-harm or have suicidal thoughts and counselors know this. They can’t help you if you don’t tell them what’s wrong.
As soon as you have the opportunity, speak to your school counselor. Tell him or her about what you wrote in this letter. If it’s easier, take this letter with you. It might help the counselor begin to understand how you are feeling. I hope that you will take my advice and realize that you have nothing to fear. Help is available but you have to be willing to ask for it, to receive it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle