So, i looked up online but i kept getting told its self-harm, but i havent done that for years. Basically… i get sudden urges to greatly hurt myself and sometimes others. I could be riding my bike and then i will think about breaking my fingers/hand… or turning into traffic into a speeding car… Etc… The urges don’t take over most the time but. i just dont know the cause…
It’s difficult to know what is wrong. It’s possible that what you are describing is a variation of self-harm. It may also be, at times, passive suicidal ideation.
Generally, the desire to harm oneself is indicative of a problem. Contented people do not want to harm themselves. The thought of self-harm, never occurs to them. They never think of it.
Self-harm might be understood as a maladaptive defense mechanism. Perhaps you feel extreme distress but don’t possess the requisite coping skills to appropriately relieve that pain and thus turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you had more useful coping skills, you would likely use them.
The good news is that you can learn these important skills in counseling. Consult a mental health professional. They will know how to help you. I hope that you will take my advice. Treatment could help immensely. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle