Are random thoughts/ideation of self-harm (metal blocks smashing my head, stabbing myself,wanting to punch my face) as an automatic response to shame particularly from social interactions (“omg, I can’believe I said that” or “why didn’I say this”) a standard symptom? If people knew what misery went through my head after a Christmas party . . . Google searches aren’t showing anything as a shame response. (note: I am not suicidal. I have smacked myself a couple times but never actually harmed myself.) And its not always like this, sometimes not at all. A really weird surge of it this past week. No other major symptoms – no history of self-harm, not currently depressed. And then how do I stop it?
While it is certainly not my intention to diagnose (you’ll want to go to a mental health provider in person for this) I can offer that the description of self-harm and intrusive thoughts can sometimes be linked together in something known as an obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). While I certainly don’t know if this is true in your situation, I’ll invite you to read about this here and here. If it sounds like what you are experiencing, you may want to follow up with a therapist with experience in the therapies mentioned in the articles.
Wishing you patience and peace,