There’s a lot of feelings going on inside me for nearly two years now and I can’t always make sense of them or why they’re there. I’ve stopped caring about a lot of things and people, I still care about the few friends and some things to help pass the time the rest I’m just unable to care about. I get panic attacks and anxiety attacks but we haven’t really seen a doctor about it because my parents say I’m just bringing it on myself by worrying and over reacting too much and whenever they say that, it makes it so much harder for me to tell anyone if I’ve had another attack or if I feel like giving up (not in the suicidal way but in a way where I just can’t cope with the feelings anymore) and so all the feelings just keep bundling up and they tear me up inside because I know if I ever ask my parents if I could just get a medical opinion or just even say how upset and anxious I’ve been for a while now, they’ll say that I’m ‘just following that depressed trend that every other teenage girl is trying to do’ but I’m really not. Also my dad and his side of the family may have some mental issues here and there whether that’s relevant or not but I thought I should include it. Sometimes I also can get weird feelings about stuff, like if someone sits in a certain place it can make me feel angry and upset at the same time, or if a few people ask me to do some things for them, I just kind of shit down almost and I feel like crying and screaming, not that I wouldn’t mind helping them, I’m fine with helping them but it doesn’t feel right in my head. Also I’m really bad in social situations with people I don’t really know that well because if they point out how quiet I am, when they leave the conversation, rather than working on it — although I do try — it makes me even quieter and more scared to talk up. (From England)
Thank you for your email. It can be particularly frustrating when we try to tell those who love us that we are not feeling well, and they ignore us.
Since you are still in school, I would recommend you talk to your nurse or a counselor there. Explain yourself to them — or trusted teacher. While these thoughts and feelings are very common for teenagers they are often dismissed or ignored by others. Believe it or not the good news is that you are not dismissing them or ignoring them yourself. You are the world’s expert on your feelings — and YOU know that they are not okay. Don’t give up. Let other trusted adults know you need help.
Wishing you patience and peace,