I’ve always been a bit weird with social interaction. Sometimes I’ll have days where I need to recharge after being around people too much, be too scared to talk to people, or more simply be content eith being alone. Though recently I’ve been hating social interaction and have felt completely numb in general. Then when I don’t feel numb, I distrust and don’t want to be close to people I trust dearly. Or I simply just want them away from me for no reason. So I’m either aggressive, numb, or randomly anxious that I’m being too distant or too abrasive.
It’s sort of scary to watch myself be like this since this is really a first for me. I’ve never really had some sort of need for social interaction, but I could feel a difference and know that I was actually feeling better around people I like. But now I don’t want to be near anyone, and when I am forced to talk to someone (Either our of guilt or because of some family related thing) I feel disassociated from myself. Like I’m not even me. And that’s probably the worst part since I’m so used to knowing what I am, even if it doesn’t make perfect sense (Ie- knowing that me hating myself is wrong, even if I genuinely feel like I don’t deserve to be helped). So yeah.
A. You might try keeping a journal where you document the changes you are noticing. That might help to pinpoint the problem, if any.
It’s also important to remember that this may be temporary. Moods change and its normal to feel a range of emotions, they fluctuate. Perhaps you feel a particular way after interacting with certain people. Maybe it’s worse after you have had a rough day at school or watch a particular program or listen to a specific song. Journaling might help you to uncover patterns in your feelings and moods.
If this continues to be a problem, I would recommend counseling. It is ideal for these types of issues. Counseling offers many great benefits, the most obvious being the objectivity of the therapist. An objective, trained, third-party can sometimes see problems where we can’t.
Finally, please know that you deserve to be helped. There’s no reason in the world why you are not deserving of help. Those types of feelings are likely contributing to what may be wrong. Counseling can eradicate these types of negative thoughts. Thanks for your question. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle