Hi. This is a hard for me to write. I’m paranoid that my parents will see it somehow and figure out that it is I. I’m goon to take the risk. First of all, I have been dealing with my problem for a while. I don’t know what to do. I have a lot of the symptoms of OCD. But I don’t know who to talk to. I over think everything. I have trouble being relaxed because I am so uptight. I am afraid of so many things, many irrelevant things. I can’t go in the bathroom without checking to make sure there isn’t an attacker in the shower, behind the curtain. I can’t go to sleep without checking my closet for an attacker. Also, I have to get everything perfect. To me, I’m not good enough. I freak out all of the time because I always think I’m contracting a deathly disease when I’m not. I get jealous of everything. I am also the type that has to ask people a million times if I’m doing something right. Teachers, coaches, etc. Sometimes I snap at people all of the sudden, for close to no reason. I don’t know what to do. I have thoughts of violent things, and then I feel guilty about them. I go on tangents of sadness. I freak out about things like the end of the world. I have been bullied a bit in the past, and I have had self-esteem issues, but I think I’m on my way above that. My parents would never believe that I have problems, because my sister has had problems of her own. Sometimes I cry for no reason. I cry at least once or twice a week. I can’t be in the dark too long without freaking out. If I feel like I am in a dangerous situation, I shake, breath heavily, and I can’t talk, I would be choked up. I scared to tell people everything. In fact, I can’t get myself to write everything on here. I don’t feel safe. I have tried to tell someone how I felt, and I had to stop because I got too choked up. I am not the type of person people expect to have problems. I get straight As, I have a good family and home, and I’m involved in sports. I’m afraid people will tell me I am overreacting and being dramatic.
I am very glad you are writing us and asking your question. I believe the kind of anxiety you are struggling with as a freshman in high school is important to manage sooner rather than later. This way you can learn the coping skills needed to feel better as you move through school.
I would bring these concerns to the school counselor. You are obviously a good student, and the school counselor will be able to help you bring some of these anxieties under control. The first thing to do is talk about it with someone you trust. This is difficult, but you have taken the first step writing us here, now bring your concerns to the people who can help you deal with this directly.
Wishing you patience and peace,