From the U.S.: 9 yr old daughter exhibits anger she can’t control while in parents presence, the child goes to other parents house she does not exhibit the anger and doesn’t want that parent to know about it. the anger is uncontrollable, she hits, kicks, pinches, grabs, shoves, breaks things and prevents parent from leaving room to calm down. has repeatedly self harmed by scratching body with nails, hits head on walls and floors and talks of hating herself and wanting to die, my question is how does the child suppress anger at other parents house and is there a name for this?
You are right to be very, very concerned. This is not normal behavior. It is often a signal that something very bad has happened to a child and that she is letting the adults know in the only way she knows how that she needs help. Please get her to a child therapist as soon as you can for an evaluation. She needs and deserves a professional evaluation and help. You need and deserve to learn ways to help her.
I wish you well.