I’ve been having trouble for the past 3 years with various things like hearing strange voices tell me to do things and once in awhile seeing strange things that no one else can see. For a while I thought they were messengers sent to me and I was terrified of them but couldn’t get away. Now I’m doing a bit better. I think this is some type of psychosis? But what is even more confusing to me are these clear memories I have of events that never happened. In these memories I am a different person entirely, but they feel so real. I don’t know what’s going on, and it’s kind of freaky.
Another thing which I can’t account for is that sometimes I feel certain person, let’s say “Bill,” is angry with me. I’m really distraught for a while just to realize later that I don’t even know the “Bill” I was thinking of. It seems I make people up to be mad at me or otherwise have things against me. All these things put together make me wonder if I don’t have Schizophrenia. I’m horrible at expressing myself and often say things that my friends tell me don’t make sense at all, or, if I’m really nervous, just a sentence put together with random words. I don’t realize I’m doing it at the time though. I also struggle with sudden thoughts of seriously harming myself. I’m able to control them, and my family is helping me through a lot. I am depressed a lot, and I think maybe I struggle with anxiety…is that all this is, or do you think I may be struggling with something more? Is this something medication may help? I don’t want to seek help if all they can do is diagnose me and then leave me. I hate talking to people as it is, so if all they can do is talk to me I’d rather not get help. The only reason I think schizophrenia is because my friend thought I had it. Do you think she’s right?
Your symptoms are unusual and could indicate psychosis but I do not have enough information to provide a diagnosis. It is possible that you have schizophrenia or another mental illness, but you would need to have an in-person evaluation with a mental health professional to determine what may be wrong.
The idea that you would be diagnosed and then forgotten is more fear than reality. That is not how mental health treatment works. Mental health professionals don’t diagnose and then discharge their clients. They first conduct an assessment to identify the problem. Then they develop a comprehensive treatment plan to correct the identified problem. True professionals work with you, to get better, for however long it takes.
Mental health problems are treatable but not if you avoid seeking help. It would be a mistake not to seek help. It could make your symptoms worse. Please consider consulting a mental health professional. It will be worth your time and effort. Both medication and therapy could help you tremendously. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle