For as long as I can remember I have been backwards when it come to sleep. Since I was 8 yrs old I stay up until 3A-6A and then sleep during the day. When I was younger I was forced to go to school but during high school I was allowed to do whatever, so I worked in the evening and then stayed up at night.
I eventually dropped out of high school my senior year and since then I have been unable to complete anything I start. I have been bouncing from job to job and in 3 years I have gone to 4 different colleges, 2 different community colleges and 2 online schools. All of which I stayed for a semester or 2 and then decided I didn’t want to be that. I’ve gone from nurse to teacher and am now contemplating EMT. I have done nothing but waist time and money. I am afraid now that time is passing me by and that I am doomed to just float thru life with no sense of purpose. When I was 14 I tried to commit suicide and was hospitalized for 30 days I was then diagnosed with major depressive disorder and double depression as well as bipolar.
Mental health disorders run in my family as well as alcohol and substance abuse. I was on meds for a while afterwards but havent been on anything in a long time. I have had few different therapists but never felt like anything was being accomplished. I just feel lost and I still dont sleep at night. I am married and my husband is great and we have a healthy relationship. I know how to help everyone around me with their problems and lives. I play a big role in my younger sister and younger cousins lives but I cant seem to help myself. Please help any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You:)
The first thing you need to do is get a sleep study. Regular sleep is essential for normal nervous system function and for good general health. Without regular sleep, people often become depressed and sometimes even show symptoms that look like psychosis. It’s not unusual for a person with a sleep disorder to be unable to make decisions or to follow through on goals. It may well be that the sleep disorder is the root of all your other problems. At least find out. Ask your doctor for a referral to a sleep study clinic and take their suggestions very seriously.
You seem like an intelligent person who has great problem-solving skills and compassion for others. I hope you will put those attributes to work for yourself. Do some reading up on sleep disorders and get yourself the help you need.
I wish you well.