I am a 17-year-old girl, just turned 17 last month. My school is kindergarten through high school and I am a junior but, in the class, below me there is a 10-year-old boy that I find very attractive. I don’t think I feel sexually attracted to him, but I am worried I may eventually feel that way. I have a history of being touched by older men when I was a child, but I don’t think that could have anything to do with this. I have had a few crushes on boys a few years younger than me in the past and I’ve just always liked boys that are cute and younger looking but the age gap is bigger than ever before, and I am genuinely concerned it may get worse. please give me some sort of guidance. (From the USA)
Being touched by older men when you were a child is something that is likely to have generated a reaction. It sounds like that was the beginning of an older-younger encounter, and the fact you are feeling these attractions may have a link back to that. While I honor your statement that you don’t think it does, I would also say it is worth exploring. The fact that you are noticing this reaction, not feeling comfortable with it, and wrote us here about it is worth taking to the next level to talk about with a therapist. Sorting this through with someone who can help unravel this with you is the right way to go. The “Find Help” tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area.
Wishing you patience and peace,