From a teen in Egypt: I don’t know how to say this but I’ll try my best. Over the past few months abnormal thoughts have been taking over head. For example, when I fight with my mom there’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me that i should hit her and hurt her, and at times kill her. This is what made me realize that I should probably see a counselor.
I’ve always felt sad most of the time but during the past few months these feelings have gotten stronger. There are times when I feel so sad that I can’t get out of my bed, I now have no friends because I’ve pushed everyone away and sometimes I sleep too much and other times I barely sleep.
Once I felt so sad that I didn’t go to school for 3 weeks straight and almost got suspended for it, I’m also failing most of my classes now. I’m always haunted by the feeling that I’m living for nothing or that I have nothing to look forward to.
I always feel lonely and disliked even when people reassure me that I’m loved and that they’re always going to be there but to me they’re just empty words that I can never believe. I sometimes hear voice coming from the inside of my head telling me that I’m worthless, stupid and that I’ll never achieve anything.
I’ve started self-harming three years ago. My mom saw my scars more than once and I’ve talked to her about getting help but she claims that this is normal and that everyone goes through things like that during their teenage years. I don’t know what this is, is this a phase like my mom claims it is? I’m scared that this is normal and that I’ll have to live like this for the rest of my life. I don’t know what to do.
I’m very concerned about you. What you should do is follow the advice of the sensible part of you that got you to write to us and that knows you need some help.
I’m sure your mother means well. I suspect that she wants to think it’s a phase because she can’t stand to believe you are in tremendous pain. But what you are reporting is not usual, especially since it has gone on for so long.
Start with a visit to your physician. Sometimes symptoms like yours are due to an underlying medical condition like a thyroid disorder or vitamin deficiency. If you are medically fine, then please talk to your school counselor about how to find a therapist who specializes in teen issues.
You wrote a thoughtful letter. Bring it with you to the appointments, and it will help the doctor or counselor quickly understand your level of distress.
If you were going to get better without help, you would be seeing some improvement by now. Please take your own good advice and get the help you need and deserve.
I wish you well.