From a teen in Indonesia: I have running thoughts that I cannot control. It’s been on and off for a year perhaps. And I start get this weird feeling like what’s happening to me is not real, like I’m detaching from reality. I even have bizarre dream where I was being chased by zombies and being locked up and couldn’t get away from a situation. I’ve been lacking concentration, forgetting things, and being overly sensitive. I have this weird feeling almost everyday now and it starts to interfere with my daily life: I start to see things weirdly, being overly paranoid about things. Especially after I’m waking up, the feeling is totally intense it totally scares me badly.
The thing is, I have family members who have paranoia schizophrenia. They’re my uncle and aunt from my mother’s lineage. I’m afraid that I’ll become like them too because I know some mental illnesses are genetics. I have a history with mental disorders: been diagnosed with bulimia nervosa on 2014, depression on 2015 and 2017.
Please help me on this one because I currently have no access to some professionals due to my recent conditions, because I really don’t want to become like them. I don’t wanna be an additional burden to my family and I’d rather kill myself before I develop it.
Although your relatives have mental illness, it does not necessarily mean that you will have it too. Sometimes, people start worrying so much about the possibility of a genetic link they start over-thinking and making themselves sick. I don’t know if that is the case with you but it is a possibility.
I think you really do need to see a professional mental health counselor. A counselor can help you sort out if you are indeed showing signs of mental illness or if you are having the normal concerns of adolescence. A counselor can also give you guidance and support. I think you deserve the peace of mind that seeing a counselor regularly for awhile can provide.
I wish you well.