From a teen in the U.S.: I have a problem that is like no other problem that I’ve heard about before. The problem is myself. I’m unable to connect with people in a way that others connect with each other. I have no ambition or drive to do anything. When I’m doing a task I feel like a complete moron. I can’t keep a thought straight and whenever I try to talk people look at me like I’m crazy. I know I’m not crazy, but it feels like I’m sitting on the border.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I feel like a complete waste of space and my existence feels worthless. I want to live and do things, and yet here I sit typing on a laptop to psychiatrists that I don’t even know that they’ll be able to help. I’m physically healthy, but not mentally. Suicide has crossed my mind multiple times, but that isn’t a solution that I’m looking for. I just want to be able to go and live my life without having this horrible mindset that no one understands. I guess just typing my thoughts out to someone who MIGHT read it is helpful.
Thank you for writing. You are not at all as alone in your feelings as you think. Many, many young people struggle with connecting with others as they would like to. Many other young people ask the existential questions you are asking. As you already know, suicide isn’t an answer. But looking for some direction and help certainly is. That’s why you wrote to us here. It’s a good beginning but only a beginning.
The next step is to see a mental health counselor who can work with you up close and personal. You deserve to have someone in your life who takes your questioning seriously and who can provide you with direction and support. You don’t have to be “crazy” to talk to a counselor. Often people use therapy as a means to personal understanding and growth.
You might also find it helpful to do some reading by other people who have asked the big questions. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl is a place to start.
I wish you well.