From the U.S.: I’ve noticed that when I’m alone in my dorm away from my family, I think about depressing stuff. Like how my grandparents are almost close to death and how I’ll die and ceased to exist. I get all gloomy and tearful. When I’m with family I’m happy as I can be, but alone, my thoughts have been about death. I know that death comes and it has to come but I hate thinking about my family dying. I obviously know that it’s natural but it’s just hard to come to terms with it.
Again this only happens when I’m in my dorm and away from family, because I myself am miserable in my school and want to be home. I just want to know why I always constantly feel depressed when I’m in my dorm and why my thoughts go to death. Thank you for your time.
I’m so glad you wrote. this makes sense to me. You are miserable at school. You are missing your family. You get frightened that they won’t be there for your whole life when you need them. So, yes, your preoccupation with death makes a kind of sense.
However, your preoccupation with death isn’t helping you solve the problem — which is that you are miserable at school. You didn’t share whether the school is the wrong school for you or if you generally have difficulty being away from your family. The answer to that would direct how one would go about helping you solve the problem.
Please make an appointment with a school counselor to help you figure it out.
You might find it helpful to read this article: Help! I’m in the Wrong College
I wish you well.