Home Depression Why Do I Want to Feel Depressed?

Why Do I Want to Feel Depressed?

There have been other questions on here like this but they all had different stories. I’m 15 and I don’t know why but I want to feel sad, I want to feel depressed. I have no idea why. Other sites have said its for me to pity myself, but I hate doing that. I just want to sit on my bed and cry over nothing sometimes. Is there something wrong with me?
I always tell myself “you just want to have attention” but I’m not that kind of person. I hate it when people talk to me, and ask me questions, and basically give me any attention. And I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time find a source that helps me understand what is wrong with me. Most of the sights say “the person may want attention” or “they are trying to have pity for yourself.” Again, like I said, I’m not that kind of person.
Sometimes I even try to think of sad things, or I act sad when I’m alone, it’s not even around people. Which I do not understand why I do that.
I mean, my life isn’t perfect, my mom is not supportive and is barley a parent. And I make that my excuse for myself to be sad.
I don’t know what else to say, I don’t know why I want to be sad, or why I act the way I do. I just want to know what is wrong with me.

You are saying contradictory things. Your question asks why you want to be depressed, but then you explain that you don’t want to be. This contradiction highlights the conflict between your feelings and your reaction to them. If you wanted to be depressed, there would be no conflict.

The conflict is important to honor as it distinguishes you from the symptoms of depression you are having. YOU don’t want to be sad, but find yourself feeling depressed. This is a different. You are looking for relief from the depression. To accomplish this I’d focus on finding a therapist or psychiatrist to help find the best ways. The ‘Find Help’ tab at the top of this page will help you find someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

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