I think this started ever since I moved school. I am and I know that I am a very emotional person. I got very depressed for some reason and I have been struggling to stay focused. I don’t have much trouble at school but I feel like it’s getting worse and while it’s getting worse I get these like urges on people I don’t know. I start to picture them being tortured by me and what scares me is that I seem to enjoy it even though consciously I know that it’s wrong. Everyday I feel like my emotions are like fading. I cant sympathize much anymore like I used to and I became more distant to people. I fear myself everyday not knowing if I am mentally sane or not. I live my life in fear and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to tell my parents because they didn’t deserve to have a mentally insane child. I haven’t had any problems with this until now. Why do I have the sudden urge to torture someone and watch them suffer?
I think you are very insightful to have noted the move may have been a trigger for you. Since your profile says you are in college I would highly recommend talking about these images and feelings with the college counselors. They are trained to help students in transition and equipped to help. I’d do this before the end of the school year, so you have some skills for coping in place before the summer.
Wishing you patience and peace,