Home Abuse Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?

Why My Girlfriend Is Trying to Save Her Stepfather After Being Sexually Abused by Him?

One month ago. She said about her secret a few days ago to me. My GF is now 19. Her stepfather first physically abused her when she was 7-8. In the beginning, it was forced. But when she grew an intimacy built up between them. So, she intentionally kept having sex with her stepfather till 2016. She has not done anymore since then. She doesn’t like stepfather for abused her physically in her childhood. She blames God for what happened to her. Now she is an atheist. I said to her that she was cheating with her mom. So, I said her to say everything to her mom. Because her stepfather is a bad person. He also has slept with other women. But my Gf is defending her stepfather because she says she was also guilty. But she has changed according to her speech. She wants to be a good person…. So please tell what should I do now? (From Bangladesh)

When there is abuse in the family there are dynamics that happens between the abuser and the abused that often cause the abuser to do what your girlfriend is now doing. Here is some information about that dynamic, and here is more information about typical reactions.

Your girlfriend needs a professional to help her understand what is happening and support for changing. Helping her get the therapy she needs would be a good goal for both of you to work toward.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

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