Home Anxiety Will I Ever Be Happy Again?

Will I Ever Be Happy Again?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From a teen in the U.S.: I don’t talk about myself or my problems, the only way I can is anonymously online. I’ve been depressed for over 7 years, I have social anxiety, and I still struggle with anorexia. After my suicide attempt last year I lost nearly all my friends, and my parents don’t look at me the same. I don’t know where to go from here.

I’ve tried almost everything, medication, therapy, group therapy, inpatient, outpatient, meditation, I could go on. I want to live, but I don’t feel alive, everyday is the same, still sad, still tired, nothing makes me happy, I hate my body, and I can’t see anyone ever loving me, or me being happy. It’s been so long, that this feels normal, but than I realize its not normal once I hear about other peoples lives.

I can’t talk about this at all, people either tell me that I’m being whiny or attention-seeking or that other people have it worse. That only makes me feel worse. I’ve had a few therapists before, but none of them helped at all.

I don’t even want to reach out for help anymore, I always end up on meds that make me sick or in a hospital where I feel abandoned and alone and treated like I’m stupid. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying so hard, I graduated, I got a job and my license, but I still feel so hopeless. I just want to get better, please is there anything that could help?

Chronicity is one of the toughest problems to manage. I understand and sympathize. Do give yourself credit (lots of credit) for doing as well as you have to move on in life despite your feelings. That has taken strength and speaks to an inner core of health.

It doesn’t matter if others “have it worse”. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. Don’t waste your time talking with people who make that useless comparison. Every individual’s pain is uniquely their own and deserves respect.

You say you have tried lots of things and worked with many therapists. What I don’t know is if you tried any one thing or stayed with any one therapist long enough for it to have maximum effect. You need long-term, on-going support, not a desperate move from one intervention to another.

I urge you to give therapy another try. If you think it isn’t working, don’t drop out. Stay and work through why you think it isn’t working. Such conversations are sometimes the most valuable ones in therapy.

You might also find it useful to join a forum here at LifeHelper in order to have the support and guidance of other people who are struggling with the same issues.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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