Home Abuse Worried about a Former Friend

Worried about a Former Friend

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I recently moved out on my ex-roommate because she has a history of psyche problems (anorexia/bulimia, borderline personality disorder) and was displaying some disturbing and problematic symptoms; I and my family were worried about my safety. She was starting to act paranoid, if my cat knocked something over and broke it she would accuse me of doing it to mess with her, stuff like that but then one day she got in my face and started screaming at me and threatened to hit me and that was when I moved out.

She has been stalking me and trash talking me all over the place and I have simply laid low, not responded and tried to cut off any and all avenues in which she had to possibly contact me. I inadvertently discovered that one of her twitters was logged into my Kindle (I had borrowed it to her earlier) and saw she had posted a screen cap of her and an anorexic friend of hers while they were bragging to each other about restricting to 200 calories a day. Despite the fact that she “hates me and hopes I die” right now, I still care about her well being and I don’t know if her family etc knows she is using disordered eating behaviors again, i don’t even know if they are accepting that she is spiraling own with her Borderline again. I want to try and talk to them, but she has lied about me to everyone including her family so they might not believe me. How can I help her/look out for her well being, and should I?

I would advise against becoming involved with your ex-roommate again. Living with her was a mistake. She threatened you and subsequently began stalking you after you moved out. Fortunately, you were able to escape before she became violent.

Even if you tried to help, there’s little or nothing you could do. You’re not a mental health professional. If you tried speaking to her family, it might only make her angry. That might make you a target and she might try to hurt you.

It is wise to stay away from her. You should continue to avoid contact with her. In fact, if she does try to contact you, call the authorities. Never underestimate the dangerousness of someone who threatens you, especially when that individual is mentally unstable. Stay safe and please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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